10 ways to be a Bad Mummy at Christmas

Off we went to Coolangatta for the Christmas period. Because we are idiots for thinking that driving for 2 days there and then back, with 2 small boys would resemble something like relaxing. It's not. But you knew that.

Once ensconced in a holiday apartment, my sister Emma, her husband Brett and her boys Marley and Jordi came to visit. I was telling her that I was a bad mummy. She asked for examples. I gave her some. She suggested I had enough material for a blog post. Nice. I also told my Mum that Emma thought I would have enough material for a bad mummy blog post. She agreed. Next year Christmas will be with friends. Just saying.

Here we go:
1. I decided not to put up the Christmas tree at home because:

• We weren’t going to be at home for Christmas
• I couldn’t be bothered schlepping the massive box containing the Christmas tree, as well as all the other random boxes of decorations down 3 flights of stairs
• I couldn’t face untangling the 3 sets of Christmas lights. I have done enough problem solving for the year
• Charlie is at that “into everything” stage and I couldn’t face him destroying the tree at every opportunity
• I couldn’t face then packing up the tree sometime in March to do it all over again 9 months later

All this by itself wasn’t too bad until Aiden told me one day, walking up to day-care that they had a tree and pointed out we didn’t have one at home. Bad mummy.

2. On the subject of day-care, they had a Christmas party. They always have a Christmas party. Last year I went, taking along Charlie who was maybe 6 weeks old. Hell on earth people. All the day-care kids plus a good portion of their parents plus sugary food does not a good afternoon make. Luckily this year (here comes the bad mummy bit) I was going to be in Melbourne for work! “Arran, could you go?” Arran forgot and got some grief from the Childcare Director when he went to pick up the boys that afternoon. Apparently Charlie had a good time. He got a tattoo that took 6 days to get off. Aiden was scared of the jumping castle.

3. I didn’t get any specific presents for Charlie from Santa. The second child is tricky, specially cause he is a boy. We have bought heaps of things for Aiden so Charlie doesn’t really need anything. He steals everything from Aiden! I did want to get him something anyway, but what? I forgot about it. Christmas eve rolled around before I remembered I had got him nothing. I re-labeled some of Aiden's train presents for Charlie. 

Beautiful Charlie

4. Since going on holidays I have forgotten to brush Aiden's teeth. We were 4 nights into our trip away before I remembered, even though I had bought him a new Diego toothbrush. And after that I didn't remember until we go home yesterday. Seriously. Bad Mummy. Though maybe the Daddy could have remembered?

5. There was no Santa photo because I couldn’t face standing in line with lots of screaming kids and because work was stupid busy and I was pooped. One of my friends asked if I had taken the boys to see Santa, and before I could even draw my guilty breath to answer, she said "Oh that's right, you aren't that kind of mummy".

6. Aiden wanted a fire truck from Santa, and I forgot. It was even written up on a board at daycare presumably for mummy's like me.  Luckily Aunty Laura and Aunty Luella got him a little one. It's probably not the kind he would have asked Santa for, if I had taken Aiden to see him.

7. I was going to buy a cheap Christmas tree from a $2 shop when we got to Coolangatta but couldn't be bothered. Emma helped me buy some decorations and we got fancy with the plastic plant in the holiday unit. It doesn't even remotely look like a Christmas tree. Have you seen anything sadder?

See! Charlie about to destroy the tree!

8. Aiden loves being with his cousins Marley and Jordi. It would be great if they could be together more often, but I like living in Sydney. Marley and Jordi are in Brisbane. Selfish mummy.

The Cousins - Aiden, Marley, Charlie and Jordi

9. I hate the piles of coloured plastic shit toys all over my house. There seems to be at least double the amount since Christmas. Even though we have a relatively large house there is nowhere near enough storage. There could never be enough storage. There is going to be a cull. Very. Soon.

10. Forgot to get Arran a wedding anniversary present. Or even a card. This is really in the bad wife category but I have presently run out of bad mummy stories. Hard to believe I know.

Does anyone else have any bad mummy/daddy/aunty/uncle/grandparent stories? Would make me feel better!

Frustrated Gardener

So what do you do when on a sunny Sunday morning, you have been given the morning off from participating in a Sydney Spring Cycle event (with the 3 boys out of the house) because you are sick? 

Arran, Charlie and Aiden off to Spring Cycle! Cuteness

The sensible person would curl up on the lounge, drink cups of tea and watch rubbish TV. Or perhaps a slightly less sensible, but social person would join a couple of girlfriends who invited you to go visit the Matt Blatt showroom at nearby Leichart and drink coffee. Or perhaps, if you had a small sadistic streak, you would put together around 30 pieces of Ikea furniture for an upcoming party at the house. Or if you were feeling domestic you might fold the mound of washing that is taking over your bedroom.

I didn't do any of these things. 

Even feeling pretty low with the onset of a sinus infection (that I finally succumbed to after the rest of the household has been sick for the past month or so), the thought of half a day to get some stuff done was too attractive. I went into a small frenzy.

Saturday was Charlie's first birthday party and I bought these amazing potted hydrangeas from Michael at Glebe General Store. 

They were so nice I got inspired and wondered how they would look in the ground. Well established hydrangea plants are dotted all around Glebe. I have written about them before, so I figured the climate must be ok for them here. I have a little strip of ground in the backyard which when we bought the house contained the start of a camellia hedge. Unfortunately they were a bit straggly and at different levels of growth. Not being much of a gardener and not liking camellia's that much meant my passion for saving them was on the low side. They got pulled out. I have had a bare patch there for a while now, cultivating weeds. I had planned to plant bamboo there to act as a screen, but we have been talking about having the whole back yard redone so I haven't done anything about that. 

Pretty inspiring, huh?

We have a little party coming up so I thought it would be nice to have some bright colour in the yard. I spent Saturday night thinking about planting hydrangeas in this spot and so given the opportunity off I went to Flower Power first thing on Sunday morning. 

How great do they look?

Ahhh...

I have decided I must be a frustrated gardener. When given the choice I wouldn't choose to get into the garden. I don't get a buzz out of having my fingers in the earth or get some kind of Zen feeling from connecting with nature while pulling weeds. I don't want a big back yard with lots of grass and would be just as happy living in an apartment with a nice balcony. Who needs a big yard when you live in Sydney's inner city? The Sydney City Council have done an awesome job of upgrading and creating the parks in the "villages" that make up the Sydney council area. We have an amazing park,  Dr H J Foley Rest Park right across the road from our house and I walk around the Glebe Foreshore at least a couple of times a week. Love.

Of course I am incredibly grateful to have a nice outdoor space to enjoy and entertain in. Any amount of space at your house in the inner west should be treasured, however most days I'd much rather be doing something to the inside of the house. I think what gets me out into our lovely outdoor space is the need to make it, and keep it looking beautiful. I don't particularly like the process of gardening but I like the finished result. If the plants don't die. And I have learned that the best way to prevent plants dying is not for me to pay more attention to them, but to buy plants that suit being neglected.

Wish my hydrangeas luck! 

Travel. Alone.

Ready to fly

 
If you read my blog a bit you might know that I like to travel. Oh yes. And my new role is going to facilitate my love of travel. The business is quite spread out around Australia, there is a lot of change management work to be done, my role also covers asia-pacific so I'll be seeing a little of Asia, and the company head office is in the US. Apart from missing all the boys in the house, it's all good. And Arran loves having Aiden and Charlie to himself.

All the boys

This week I spent two days in Melbourne and one in Brisbane. I really would like to spend more time in Melbourne. It's a real contradiction. It's gentrified and gritty. It's traditional and edgy. It's polished and friendly. It has a different vibe to Sydney, which I think is big, brash and egotistic. And breathtakingly gob-smackingly beautiful. I think Melbourne lacks Sydney's beauty but I really like the city. And don't know it that well so I'm intrigued and curious.

After spending all day in an office on Monday I was busting to go for a walk on Melbourne's streets. Staying in the centre of the city, I checked into my hotel and headed to see what I could see, and decide where to have dinner. The streets were bustling with tourists, people heading home from work, and friends meeting up for an early dinner. 

One of Melbourne's many laneways

I walked around for half an hour before stumbling across my favourite lane-way. I never know it's name or exactly how to find it, but I somehow always end there when I'm on foot.  It was full of people catching up, having a bite to eat or a glass of wine. I walked a little longer but returned there to one of my favourite places for dinner. 

I settled myself into a bench seat with my back against the wall (a great people watching position), ordered a small plate of pasta and a small greek salad, a glass of red and settled in with a glossy magazine. Perfection when a usual working week meal is provided by "lite and easy", and eaten at toddler o'clock.

I wandered back to my hotel for a little social media indulgence and then off to sleep at 9.30pm with no interruption till morning from Charlie screaming for no apparent reason.  Bliss.

Melbourne skyline

Tuesday night I was in Brisbane and stayed with Mum and Dad. Mum wanted to know what I did the previous night. She was horrified that I was walking around the city alone and had dinner alone. In a restaurant.

When I first started travelling for work I found travelling alone a little tougher. I guess I was younger and less sure of myself, a little less confident. My very first business trip was to London, business class. My manager kindly let me fly in on Saturday morning so I had the weekend to see the city and shop. It was tough to leave that hotel room and get about that city by myself. There was a lot of self-talk going on about what a great opportunity I was given and that I needed to stop being stupid and just get out there!

The more I have travelled by myself, the less I have had to encourage myself to explore. Now if I'm travelling for work and a kind work colleague wants to look after me, or organise my personal time, I feel a little resentful that I'm not left to explore alone for at least some of the time!

I knew that I had become very comfortable travelling alone when Charlie and I did a trip to Guangzhou, China when he was 4 months old. I was having dinner with 7 Chinese people, of which only one could speak a little (basically no) English and I knew no Mandarin. My translator was not joining me until the next day. And it was ok. We were all having a lovely night with lovely food.  I felt safe and confident. 

Compare this to my first business trip to London, when I spent a weekend in Antwerp, Belgium. I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to communicate with anyone there, which was a completely ridiculous worry. Belgians speak very good English along with 2 or 3 other languages. I was fine. I even discovered I can mostly read French in restaurants and work out what I would like to eat. It was a good lesson.

So a 45 minute walk on Melbourne's bustling streets and a lovely meal alone was fine. Nice. Perfect.

I think travelling and eating alone in a strange city and/or country is an acquired skill. What do you think? Have you ever travelled alone and found it hard to "get out there"?

 

Day 7: Time to go home..

Holidays are great. They are great when you are thinking about going on holidays, planning the holiday, booking the holiday and going on the holiday. They are even good when it's time to go home. Yep. You heard right. We had a great holiday in Fiji. I'm sure you are all sick of hearing about it. But it's always nice to go home. 

After a hellish flight where every baby and toddler on board screamed and cried at some point, it was nice to land in Sydney and arrive home to "the yellow house", as Aiden calls it. To sleep in our own bed. To have a proper place for our things. To be able to visit our favourite coffee shop and grab a coffee.  Small pleasures of our own home and our own city.

My favourite kind of holiday is by the beach but it's nice to be back in the bustling urban inner west of Glebe where you say hello rather than "Bula" and where the pace is a little faster and energetic. It's nice to eat a 'normal' amount of food and not have to fight the hungry hoards at the breakfast buffet. It's nice to have shops close by, so convenient, so easy. 

I like being back in our Terrace house which has a history and a place in time and I like getting dressed each day in my new clothes to go off to my new job. I like driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge each day, over the most beautiful harbour in the world. 

And as the holiday fades I will turn to looking forward to the next break, my good friend Jacqui's wedding in Palm Cove in October, where I will also get to see lovely school friend Ann and her new baby Jasper.

Until then, here are a last few pics to remind me of fun in the sun!
 

Aiden and Arran ready for a boat ride

Water baby Charlie

Aiden lounging....

Day 6: I have a theory

Yep. I have a theory and I need your help. My theory is that we all have a holiday wardrobe. Do you have one? Some items that hide in the back of the cupboard or in the bottom drawer just waiting for a summer holiday by the sea? They are items of clothing you wouldn't dare wear to many other places or events...well maybe a fancy dress party. I have been observing these clothes on the other guests at the resort we are staying in, as I wear my own version.

There is a little bit of excitement in an upcoming holiday when I get to pull these pieces out of my cupboard and pack them in the suitcase. They are usually the first things to go in, because I certainly don't wear them on a regular basis. Do you know the kind of clothes I mean? Things like brightly coloured floral dresses, shirts, shorts and sarongs - kinda Hawaiian style. They are items like long board shorts and fluro rashies and swimsuits. Big island style hats and sandals and thongs that get worn once a year, because they are so daggy, but oh so practical for the sand and water.

Here is my go-to summer holiday top. I don't know what possessed me to buy it. It has parrots on it, with sequins. Hideous. Except when you are on a summer holiday by the beach. Then it's just right. Well it's OK. Isn't it?

 Here is another summer holiday favourite. I bought it on a road trip between Sydney and Brisbane at Byron Bay, when I was pregnant with Aiden. It's Lisa Ho. It wasn't cheap. It's kinda island-y, not particularly flattering (style or colour), but great to wear on a hot day and can be dressed up to wear for dinner.

 

Here's a couple of the resort guests I took photos of, "paparazzi" style.  I'm not much of a "pap" photographer as my camera was back in my room or in my bag when I saw the BEST examples of holiday wardrobe wear.

First up, a very good example of holiday board shorts. Check out these floral babies at the pool, nicely coordinated with a red hat.

 

A Hawaiian shirt with a twist. Guitars and tiki/islander designs teamed with a 3 day growth. Good choice for lunch.

 And a classic Hawaiian holiday shirt as a swimsuit cover up. I know this because this girl arrived with 3 or 4 other bikini clad friends for lunch and was told to cover up before they were let in.

Do you have a holiday wardrobe? What's your favourite piece?

Day 4 and 5: The island life

We have settled into a nice routine and got the hang of life on an island. Palm tree lined sand, turquoise blue ocean and "Bulu!" wherever we go. 

 

One of the blogs I like to follow,  Little Cottage, Big Life written by the lovely Claudia, who I met at a recent blogger conference, does something called "Wordless Wednesday". Every Wednesday she only posts photos on her blog. I like it. I like it a lot. So in that spirit (I'm stealing her idea with pride) this blog is mainly photos of our holiday so far. Enjoy!

The Jetty

Sunset

End of a perfect day

Arran and "Mini-me" Charlie

Ah...palm trees

Charlie practicing his modelling pose

"I can wear your sunnies Daddy!"

The beach....

Cheeky Charlie

I love tunnels

Cuddles

Cool dude!

 

Day 3: Take a break

Holiday toes

I'm writing over at my other blog today. You can check out the post here