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Sunday, 30 December 2012

10 ways to be a Bad Mummy at Christmas


Off we went to Coolangatta for the Christmas period. Because we are idiots for thinking that driving for 2 days there and then back, with 2 small boys would resemble something like relaxing. It's not. But you knew that.

Once ensconced in a holiday apartment, my sister Emma, her husband Brett and her boys Marley and Jordi came to visit. I was telling her that I was a bad mummy. She asked for examples. I gave her some. She suggested I had enough material for a blog post. Nice. I also told my Mum that Emma thought I would have enough material for a bad mummy blog post. She agreed. Next year Christmas will be with friends. Just saying.

Here we go:
1. I decided not to put up the Christmas tree at home because:
  • We weren’t going to be at home for Christmas
  • I couldn’t be bothered schlepping the massive box containing the Christmas tree, as well as all the other random boxes of decorations down 3 flights of stairs
  • I couldn’t face untangling the 3 sets of Christmas lights. I have done enough problem solving for the year
  • Charlie is at that “into everything” stage and I couldn’t face him destroying the tree at every opportunity
  • I couldn’t face then packing up the tree sometime in March to do it all over again 9 months later
All this by itself wasn’t too bad until Aiden told me one day, walking up to day-care that they had a tree and pointed out we didn’t have one at home. Bad mummy.

2. On the subject of day-care, they had a Christmas party. They always have a Christmas party. Last year I went, taking along Charlie who was maybe 6 weeks old. Hell on earth people. All the day-care kids plus a good portion of their parents plus sugary food does not a good afternoon make. Luckily this year (here comes the bad mummy bit) I was going to be in Melbourne for work! “Arran, could you go?” Arran forgot and got some grief from the Childcare Director when he went to pick up the boys that afternoon. Apparently Charlie had a good time. He got a tattoo that took 6 days to get off. Aiden was scared of the jumping castle.

3. I didn’t get any specific presents for Charlie from Santa. The second child is tricky, specially cause he is a boy. We have bought heaps of things for Aiden so Charlie doesn’t really need anything. He steals everything from Aiden! I did want to get him something anyway, but what? I forgot about it. Christmas eve rolled around before I remembered I had got him nothing. I re-labeled some of Aiden's train presents for Charlie. 

Beautiful Charlie
4. Since going on holidays I have forgotten to brush Aiden's teeth. We were 4 nights into our trip away before I remembered, even though I had bought him a new Diego toothbrush. And after that I didn't remember until we go home yesterday. Seriously. Bad Mummy. Though maybe the Daddy could have remembered?

5. There was no Santa photo because I couldn’t face standing in line with lots of screaming kids and because work was stupid busy and I was pooped. One of my friends asked if I had taken the boys to see Santa, and before I could even draw my guilty breath to answer, she said "Oh that's right, you aren't that kind of mummy".

6. Aiden wanted a fire truck from Santa, and I forgot. It was even written up on a board at daycare presumably for mummy's like me.  Luckily Aunty Laura and Aunty Luella got him a little one. It's probably not the kind he would have asked Santa for, if I had taken Aiden to see him.


7. I was going to buy a cheap Christmas tree from a $2 shop when we got to Coolangatta but couldn't be bothered. Emma helped me buy some decorations and we got fancy with the plastic plant in the holiday unit. It doesn't even remotely look like a Christmas tree. Have you seen anything sadder?

See! Charlie about to destroy the tree!

8. Aiden loves being with his cousins Marley and Jordi. It would be great if they could be together more often, but I like living in Sydney. Marley and Jordi are in Brisbane. Selfish mummy.

The Cousins - Aiden, Marley, Charlie and Jordi
9. I hate the piles of coloured plastic shit toys all over my house. There seems to be at least double the amount since Christmas. Even though we have a relatively large house there is nowhere near enough storage. There could never be enough storage. There is going to be a cull. Very. Soon.

10. Forgot to get Arran a wedding anniversary present. Or even a card. This is really in the bad wife category but I have presently run out of bad mummy stories. Hard to believe I know.

Does anyone else have any bad mummy/daddy/aunty/uncle/grandparent stories? Would make me feel better!