It sucks coming 2nd!

Remember how Cadel Evans won the Tour de France last year? He became Australia's latest sports hero. Most Australians had no idea who Cadel Evans was until this win. We are a parochial lot that way. Anyone know who came second? Anyone?

Which brings me to Charlie. Poor Charlie. He has started going to day-care at Caring 4 Kids, one day a week. I at least need to get him in 3 days a week, so I can go back to work in early April.  So far only one day has come up so I had to take it. They are so awesome that no-one wants to leave and the waiting list is large. While I was there last Friday there was three other parents asking for extra days. Gulp.

I'm hoping Charlie's cuteness moves him up the waiting list at Caring 4 Kids!

When Aiden started going to day-care I was very organised. He had his own little back pack with his name on it as well as cot sheets (labelled with his name), bottles (labelled with his name), he had "onesie" singlets, specially purchased so his tummy wouldn't get cold if his shirt rode up and there was no one there to pull it down. He had bibs with his name on them too.

Charlie went off to day-care last week with bottles labelled with his brother's name, which he won't drink from (he only likes boob), cot sheets that wouldn't fit on the cots at day-care, (not labelled) and his 'things' in an "enviro" shopping bag. Poor Charlie. 

Very optimistic packing all these bottles!

Charlie's clothing situation is not great either. Being the second boy in the family there is heaps of (hand-me-down) clothes for him to wear, in theory. Aiden ended up having lots of clothes, despite there not being the same range of clothing to purchase for boys, as there is for girls. Any children's clothing store or children's section of department store seems to have 75% girls stuff and somewhere towards the back there is some navy, green, brown and if you are lucky, red, mostly uninspiring clothing for boys. And I still managed to buy Aiden heaps of clothes. 

The only problem is that Aiden and Charlie were born at different times of the year. Aiden in March as Sydney moved into winter and Charlie in October as the weather started to warm up. This means that Charlie gets to wear about a third of Aiden's hand-me-downs. And because I seem to have clothes everywhere in the boy's room I haven't bought any more. Poor Charlie.


Of course this neglect started at the very beginning. When Aiden was born a professional photographer visited the hospital to take some new-born shots. We loved them and many people asked who took them (Footprints Photography) and some friends have gone on to use them for their baby shots. Here is one of our favourites:

Aiden, 3 days old.

When Charlie was born the hospital was packed with women and their babies. Charlie and I were shipped off to the Crown Plaza at Codgee to enjoy the Little Luxuries program (tough gig I tell you) because I was a 2nd time mum and because our health fund had decided to cover the cost. There were no professional photographers at the Crown Plaza. Poor Charlie.

Luckily in the past week, the mummy-guilt kicked in and a few things have arrived for poor Charlie.

 Here is Charlie's new bag. It arrived on Monday. Phew! 

Here are Charlie's labels. They arrived today. Yah!

Better take a good look at these labels because after a flurry of labelling I will probably put them somewhere safe, and then not remember where I put them. On the positive side I have just found the labels I ordered when Aiden was Charlie's age!

I have also procured some brand new cot sheets for Charlie for him to use at day-care. He has a new bottle with a softer more boob-like teat which "the girls" at Caring 4 Kids, think he will like a bit better.

And luckily in January our lovely friend Andrea Thompson came to visit and photograph Charlie. She managed to get some beautiful shots between him screaming his head off, for no apparent reason. Maybe he had a hint of the neglect ahead of him?

Put your own mask on, before helping others.

I have been lucky to travel a lot. Both for work and for holidays. My favourite way to travel is on planes. There is still a little romance left in this form of travel for me, even when I don't get to go business class. One Company I worked for only ever sent me overseas and only travelling business class to stay in 5-star hotels. All expenses paid. I call this period of my career the "Travel Princess" period. I travelled to London, Belgium, The Phillipines, India...sigh, anyway this is not the point. 

My point is that when you travel by air you always get the safety briefing, which includes demonstrating how to put an oxygen mask on your face, should they drop from the ceiling. I ask you, is there ever a circumstance when the mask drops from the ceiling, that it's all going to end well? Is the mask really going to help if you are about to pitch into the ocean?

During the demonstration you are always told to put your mask on before helping others, like children.

When Aiden was a new-born baby Arran used to ask me about what to do or how to do it, in regards to Aiden's care. Like I knew what I was doing! Eventually I said "Babe, just cause I gave birth doesn't mean I know all the answers! You're the Dad. You work it out!" I remember sitting at a sports field at the end of a Mountain Bike race (where else) when Aiden was very little. Arran had finished the race and I had gone off to get him a cold soft drink and a sausage in a piece of bread from the local Rotary Club BBQ. I came back to find Arran giving Aiden a bottle. "He was crying and I didn't know if he needed to be fed but then I thought, I'm the Dad, I can make a decision so I'm giving him a bottle". He was very pleased with himself. Smug even.

I don't think many women give over that kind of parenting power so early on, or ever for that matter. With both of us working full-time I didn't want to be the only person who could only put Aiden to bed or attend to his needs. I wanted both of us to share the parenting and the work load that goes with it, and that meant that Arran and I both had to feel confident doing everything. It works out pretty well most of the time though every now and again...... 

Charlie and I have been sick over the past week and one night at 2am Charlie decided to scream his lungs out. He wouldn't be comforted and wouldn't feed. He was hot so I left him lying on our bed (still screaming) to trek downstairs to find the baby Panadol I purchased that day. It was nowhere to be seen. I go back up stairs. Charlie has fallen asleep on our bed so I attempt to put him back in his cot. He woke up (of course) and continued his screaming. Arran finally wakes up and suggests that perhaps I should give him some Panadol. Gee. I hadn't thought of that. I WOULD IF I COULD FIND IT!!  Do you think you might have put it in the bin? says me. The next morning Arran finds the Panadol in the recycling bin outside where he had helpfully put it. And governments wonder about the rise in violent behaviour in women.

We do have a different approach though and from having coffee with my mother's group friends and listening to their complaining, I mean telling me about their warming family stories, there seems to be a consistent theme. It's seems that the Dads are good at putting their oxygen masks on, before helping others. In my limited experience and deep mother's group research that's what the Dad's do, when looking after the kids. They do their thing first and then attend to the kid. And it pisses the mummies off! A few examples:

• When Aiden was little and crying during the night, Arran would get get up to attend to him (usually after me pushing him hard out of the bed because he has learnt the ability to sleep through any amount of crying and screaming) but would stop on the way to go to the toilet. Aiden would be crying his little heart out and Arran is calmly doing a pee. I am lying awake listening to both these activities wishing I had gotten up instead.
• Arran and Aiden often have a shower together in the evening. When they get out Aiden stands dripping wet while Arran dries himself off. Then Arran dries Aiden but his hair is still very wet. Then they move into our bedroom where Arran gets dressed and then he takes Aiden into his room and dresses him. This is very similar to what one of my friend's husband does, except he gets dressed and makes himself a cup of tea before getting in trouble from his wife for leaving their little girl to wander around naked with dripping hair.
• If Arran is upstairs reading Aiden a story before bedtime, I will be downstairs cleaning up the kitchen. If I am upstairs feeding Charlie and putting him to bed, Arran is downstairs watching TV and playing on his computer.
• On Sunday, on returning home after an outing to buy more plants to kill, Arran left Charlie in the car because he needed to go to the toilet. When I gave him a 'look' he said "I didn't want to wet myself!" Has anyone seen a grown man wet himself recently because it took him an extra minute to get to the toilet? I think not.

I don't think the Daddies even realise they are doing it! It's some-kind-of built in thing to look after yourself first. I think the mum's put the oxygen mask on others before themselves. Again, its built in. I have grabbed Charlie a number of times in the middle of the night and been feeding him before realising I was busting to go to the toilet! And it really would be nice to not have breakfast at 10 when I have been up since 6. 


I guess it doesn't matter much in the end how things can done but geez it can be annoying. Do you put your mask on before helping others?

Charlie "Crackin it" (Andrea Thompson Photography)

2011 The year that was....

It seems to be a tradition in many families to put together a newsletter detailing the last 12 months activities, to send to their family and friends, usually in a Christmas card. Well I’m crap at writing Christmas cards. I often buy a pack of pretty cards with the very good intention on sending them. Some years I have even bought stamps! As a result I have quite a good selection of cards.

During 2011 I started writing a blog and got a really good camera so I have combined the two. Consider this your Christmas and New Year greeting plus family newsletter from Arran, Aiden, Charlie and I. Here are some highlights!

 

Aiden learnt to ride a bike

We went to the park a lot and had fun on the slides

We went to Brisbane for Mum’s 60^th Birthday

Mum and Dad at the Party

Aiden had fun with his cousins in Brisbane

Jordi, Aiden and Marley

 We went to cafes and restaurants

Me on a work trip in Singapore - Gotta love chilli crab!

 Winter in Sydney was very cold. We had to "rug up"

Marley and Jordi Vaggs (the cousins) came to visit with their parents Emma and Brett

Emma, Aiden, Marley and Jordi

The Vaggs: Brett, Marley, Emma and Jordi

We went on some road trips

And read some books          

I started a blog

Aiden got his hair cut

One of the times he didn't throw a tanty

Said goodbye to the mini  *sob*

Had some great photos taken by Andrea Thompson and wrote about it here

  

Had a little break

Read some more books and kept clean

Did a photography course

Played with some trains

 Went swimming

And went to the museum

Practised my photography skills

Did some stuff around the house

Practised some more photography skills

Played with some dinosaurs

Got some new summer clothes, which seemed a little premature (bloody Sydney weather)

Went to Bondi Beach

Met a birdy

Had some toast

Welcomed Charlie

Took a trip to Bowral

Went to playgroup at Vision Australia

Went to a cyclo-cross race

Arran in action

Had some more toast

Hung some art

Salvage chic!

 Thanks to everyone who follows my blog. Happy New Year. Looking forward to 2012!

Floral Fever

When I first moved to Sydney I got a job in Human Resources for a large global company. My direct manager was an Aussie expatriated to London. One year for my birthday she sent me flowers from Grandiflora in Potts Point. OMG! I had never seen flowers, or an arrangement, like it. Incredible sculptural and unusual flowers. When Arran and I got married I wanted flowers for our wedding from Grandiflora, but they were closed over the Christmas period, (we got married on the 28th December) and they recommended another amazing florist (who unfortunately I can't remember the name of). The flowers made the (very) hot and humid day. They helped create a beautiful space for the wedding and party. 

The following two photos were taken by Andrea Thompson of our wedding flowers. You can read a bit more about Andrea here or view her website here.

For my birthday this year Arran bought me a digital SLR Camera, a Canon 60D and a digital SLR course with Sydney Photographic Workshop, which I completed in October. The course was great and I highly recommend it. I practised some of my new skills on a road trip to Parkes. The next two shots I took in Orange at this lovely old park we stopped at on the way. You can see it was spring when we were there. All the flowers were in full bloom.

The other three shots were taken at home when I was doing some more practise.

 

 

So why all the shots of flowers? Mum bought me this amazing book for Christmas, by the florist Saskia Havekes from Grandiflora and it inspired this post. It details some of the large events she has styled flowers for. The book is called "Grandiflora Celebrations". I have just finished reading about each of the events and drooling over the glossy shots, in between looking after Aiden and Charlie and getting ready to go on holidays for a week. It strikes me that Saskia is much more than a florist. She is really an artist and architect who just happens to work with flowers as her preferred medium. Her writing is also "blog-like". It is like she is having a conversation with you about each event and some of the challenges. Very inspiring.